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Wisdom #925: Don't have a cow, man.

Wisdom #548: First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

Wisdom #1224: Jake liked his women how he liked his kiwi fruit; firm yet yielding, sweet yet tart, and covered with short fuzzy brown hair.

Wisdom #559: The World's Shortest Books #20. Things I Wouldn't Do for Money by Dennis Rodman

Wisdom #214: A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Wisdom #1052: Hold! Cease thy stultiloquy! Oh, not daggers or swords or all the spears in the world stung me greater than this rubbish you throw to the heavens!"

Wisdom #32: Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

Wisdom #21: Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

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